“The selection of a Republican candidate for the presidency of this globalized and expansive empire is — and I mean this seriously — the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance that has ever been.”
— Fidel Castro, who was the subject of several barbs during a GOP debate in Florida. (via officialssay)

Crucial

311 Notes

Vanessa Bryant is bout to get paid

I wonder if I’m not gonna be crazy anymore once my boyfriend gets back and I finally get laid. And if that’s the case - should I be going to Sex Addicts Anonymous? Because that’s one too many Anonymouses to be going to. Fuck.

boyfriend

boyfriend

1 Notes

I’ll never fucking learn.

I’ll never fucking learn.

1 Notes

Conversation in a dream I just had

  • Me, trying to figure out what to order: What would your grandma get?
  • Friend: Ummm, I'm not really sure.
  • Me: Well, what would Britney Spears get?

  • My Sister: Guess what I have for you???
  • Me: Misplaced question marks

1 Notes

“And I’m sure you’re not fucking up anything too much unless you’ve robbed a bank and committed treason. Both are federal offenses, and that shit is bad.”
— The way that I “reassure” people isn’t probably on par with what maybe like how Oprah would do it. But it works. I think.

1 Notes

“The point of the thesis proposal is like…I mean, you’re trying to show them that you’re not an idiot - that you can form a complete sentence. No, I mean. Well, the point is to show that there’s enough research. Um. Like, to tell them that this is important. It’s kind of like…to prove you know…um. I don’t know. Let me Google it.”
— I have no idea why Denise thought that I would be an appropriate person to turn to for thesis help. (via ramou)

10 Notes

slightlyshy:

Can we all give Courtney Stodden a break for a minute? She’s fucking 16. Sherlock Holmes was my boyfriend when I was 16. From the books.

From the books.

2 Notes

“I don’t like [Redacted], Denise. Just based on the way you talk about him, he doesn’t seem like a good person. And, you know what? I don’t even like his name. [Redacted]. Ugh.”
— I’m doing a decently fantastic job of getting my roommate to say nasty things about people, and at this point I don’t even care if it’s about people that are in my life

Dear Self

You seriously need to figure out how to Put. Work. Away. during the hours in which you are actively not at work. While this is not something that will come easily - nor is it something you are naturally programmed to do - it is not okay that you are checking your emails or “putting out fires” at random times throughout the day. It is not okay that you are emailing or texting your managers or sales directors to ask about random shit at all hours of the day during all days of the week, not because they say it’s not okay [they, in fact, seem to relish in the idea that you’re always working], but because it’s compulsive. YOU are compulsive. And having a job whose financial gain is completely dependent on how many deals you write, and is directly correlated to how many hours you work, is not helpful. It is not sane.

Do you hear that? It. Is. Not. Sane.

And yet you’re working and living and breathing and dreaming about this corporate, crazy world where no one will tell you that. There will never once be someone who says to you, “Relax. Slow down. Work less. Take a vacation. Do you.” Because Corporate America doesn’t work that way. Your company does not work that way.

You knew what you were doing when you took on this job. It was a completely different path than the one that you always viewed for your life, and that’s okay. You can quit beating yourself up about it now. You can also quit feeling guilty that at many points, you really, really like it. It’s okay to crave success and power and financial independence, so long as it’s coupled with giving back, being a good friend, and never compromising your belief systems for those aforementioned gains. But keep that balance in mind, for goodness’ sake. Remember those tips from The Biggest Loser, which tell you that you have to have to take time out for yourself and your health. Remember to give back in some at least one day per week (and those weekly donations do not count, buddy, so quit playing). Remember to find adventure and thrills outside of negotiating or closing a big deal, and remember to celebrate your successes, rather than focusing only on how you’re going to tackle the next problem. And remember to remember where you came from and who you were, and all the positive change that has come about since then. Remember to remember you, and do not ever let this world take that from you.

xx,
Denise