This is one of the single most random songs I...
You hang around black people a lot, don’t you? I can already tell the...– One of my students at the GED center where I volunteer teach sometimes. They crack me up cuz I think I fool them at the jump, walkin in there looking like a country ass white broad and then they’re like .. hold the phone, who the fuck are you??!
Either I am exceptionally observant or drug dealers no longer give a fuck because I’ve witnessed two drug deals in the past three days, both way out in the open. And trust me, I’m not looking around for this sorta thing. Recklessssssssss
Me eyes are heavy today from the grand exodus of tears that finally came last night. After several days (weeks) of holding it in. I finally broke down and called my father. We shot the shit for quite some time, talking about allergies and how his moving is going, a funny email chain between my sister and me and, of course, the weather. And finally it came. Between heavy sobs, I remarked my...
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-3-28) →
Britney Spears (5) Michael Jackson (4) Mariah Carey (4) Jamie Foxx (3) The-Dream (3) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Here are things I hate
Using utensils like forks on teflon Being the oldest person on the house but having to act like it Not being able to find episodes of Kell on Earth online Having a cut off point for my caffeine consumption in the evening Having only passion fruits in the house, no pears or apples, and it being too damn rainy for me to go out to the store to get more
I’m tired of all my friends who get married not having anything worthwhile...– my boy Kyle who I don’t think gets that weddings aren’t about him, but whatever
No offense, but white people don’t moisturize.– Anyenda, being “offensive”
the epic Boston Monsoon is too fresh in my memory...
Me: It is so fuckin RAINY
Me: Can you promise me no rain when i come to NY [in two weeks]? PLEASE
Monica: I'll try
Me: Put a shout out to jesus about that for me, will ya?
Monica: I'll do one better
Monica: I'll try to put a word in with god
Monica: But no guarantees, he's been kinda busy these days
Me: Yeah, he keeps declining my calls. Straight to voicemail with that dude. So annoying.
I refuse to like this show, minus this clip. Refuse.
Your (not so) Daily Roommate and Denise
Anyenda: (after secretly placing an order of chicken lo mein for me) I guess dinner's on me tonight.
Me: Poppa's bringin home the bacon. Awwwwwww yeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
an overheard in ny convo, aka an exact replica of...
Little boy: (to little girl) I like you.
Little girl: What?
Little boy: I said "I like looking for rocks."
Your (not so) Daily Roommate and Denise
Anyenda: What do you want from Dunkin Donuts?
Me: A bagel with, like, egg, cheese, ham .. yeah. Hook me up.
Anyenda: All right. I'm on my way home, I'll pick it up and see you soon.
Me: You're the bestest!!
Anyenda: No, you're the best.
Me: No, *you* hang up!
Kyle: Wait, you have an iphone now? When did that happened?
Me: You're behind. In my drunken rampage a few days back I threw my berry to the ground and broke it. AT&T dude talked me into it.
Kyle: Unfortunate. Maybe he should have talked you into getting with the times and getting an android phone.
Me: Ummmm did I stutter when I texted AT&T?
AKA hitting on me makes you destined for failure
Oscar: (trying to entice me) I have a big cock.
Me: so do I, dude. What else you got?
It doesn’t make sense that we would all buy our own aluminum foil, but that’s what has seriously come to pass in this house. There are so many other things I don’t even feel like going into, it’s unreal. I’m frustrated today. So so so fucking frustrated.
In no way is this profound, but
my boobs are fuckin huge today. Enormous.
Yes, I’m a cougar.– Janice Dickenson, who is too fuckin real for school sometimes
Guys, shoot me in the head because my head will not focus and my tonsils are on fire. Fuck me. Also, I’ve become a bit laissez-faire in my schoolwork, which needs to atop for sure if I’m actually gonna cop this degree. Our kitchen needs to be cleaned, I need a caffeine jolt, and Wendy Williams is even sort of looking good at this point, which you KNOW means I’m not doing great....
kindafabulous: They say that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! I’m overwhelmingly frustrated today, so unfortunately that lemonade may end up getting thrown on someone’s face. Ooooooooooh do I FEEL YOU on this, boo.
You look like you should be married to one of the San Diego Padres.– Tracey Morgan, to someone who he thought looked like should be married to one of the San Diego Padres
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-3-21) →
Lil Wayne (6) Britney Spears (6) Aventura (5) Nivea (5) Lady GaGa (5) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Did they pass health care reform? →
What you need to know about me to truly "get" my...
I will, under no circumstances, be turning my paper in on time. And then you and me, we’ll cop an understanding wherein you don’t grade me down for it because it’s not about us, ya know?
Right off the bat this morning, here's a convo I...
Manager: you have any friends that are supermodels that like techy type guys?
Me: hahahahaha yeah
Me: yeah i do
Me: like tons
Manager: awesome! here's my number give it to them. 1-800-I-WISH
I have a pretty disgusting idea right now
I went to sleep spot on at midnight and I think that was the first problem. Having a roommate who stomps around like a gorilla in the morning* and I fell asleep on the couch is the other problem. Anyway, I gave it the ole college try at going back to sleep but my body’s all … Get up, ho!! So I’m kinda thinkin about an early morning run at the gymsies then using some of my Dunks...
Link to a concise, easy-to-understand description... →
Yiddish Slang →
I’ve spoken before about my vernacular, how it’s been developed from Middle English and “archaic words” and whatnot. Something else I do from time to time is use Yiddish slang. Well, actually it’s been a work in progress for quite a while, sort of enveloping the Yiddish into my everyday speech without someone giving me the side eye, but this list sort of sums it up...
DUI vs DWI →
People always ask me the difference between the two. This website, albeit elementary, assists.