June 2010
116 posts
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The one where I'm hilariously and ironically...
Law and Order: LA?? They should have a Law and Order: Missouri. That’s where the real shit’s at, you don’t even know.
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I lost six pounds in two weeks. It’s not emotional distress or binge dieting so much as it was on account of losing a massive amount of water weight, I can only assume, via profuse sweating. Last week I played my first games of soccer and tennis and went to an outlandish cardio hip hop class. This week, I drank a lot of sangria and have done little in the way of eating.
Although I’m...
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Look.
I am ready and willing to give up pretty much all the money I have in my bank account to the first Thai restaurant who will answer their damn phone. I’m not even playing, is today a holiday? I miss this stuff a lot (a lot), so you never know. But really, guys. REALLY. Thai food or I die.
“So, what’s weather like in Budapest?”
– Dom’s a bitch, you guys
“Only when the the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and...”
– -19th Century Native American (via deannabrooks)
You typical Monday rant
I don’t want to be all Debby Downer status on a Monday (because how stereotypical, right), but I’m am motherfucking fed up with my boss treating me like I’m foolish. Not only do I hold more degrees and more capability than him (save for in the sales department), but the content of his condescending as fuck emails tend to actually be things I’ve already addressed, but that...
“Somebody to Love” - Jefferson...
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Things that happen in my living room
Me: If I said no, would you still put it in your mouth?
Anyenda: I don't know; I would have to make an executive decision [puts it in his mouth].
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Your (not so) Daily Roommate and Denise
Dom: Looks like my endeavers to get ass tonight have failed.
Me: Dont worry, Dom, I live upstairs. I got air conditioning. *wink*
“My leg is a slut when I’m high.”
– Aisha
Sometimes. Sometimes I get mad interested in the fact that people will let it ALL hang out on their blog. Just throw their whole business out there.
I can, to a certain degree, share my life. But there’s also a part of me that goes, fuck, some real person might check this shit out AND THEN it’s over.
hellahotmess:
sade:
You can be funny, cute, interesting. You can be Alessandra Ambrosio with the personality of Amy Poehler. But you will still be rejected by someone. You will still get your heart broken and it sucks and it probably won’t be fair. But it happens to everyone regardless of status or looks or what have you. I guess I’m just saying this because I don’t want any girl to think that...
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“When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old...”
– Lady GaGa, whose morning pep talks seem reminiscent of mine. Sometimes I even call myself Lady GaGa, yknow, for fun.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-6-20) →
Drake (15)
Justin Timberlake (3)
Nicki Minaj (2)
Kanye West (2)
Miley Cyrus (2)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
“No one makes meth with anything but the best of intentions.”
– Truer words …
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“Just tell [our academic advisor] you slept with all his mother fucking friends.”
– Ramou, commiserating with me about our academic woes
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Scenes from My Living Room
Me: Cunt.
Dom: Don't call Anyenda a cunt.
Me: Bitch bitch bitch cunt.
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WatchI can’t figure out yet why idiots aren’t watching Jimmy Fallon every night. To be fair, I got this from my girl Melanie (Gurl Melanie .. The Game .. anyone?), but the child-like snickers from Fallon and the way he’s just so giddy he can hardly contain himself, well, I identify with that. Also, who the hell else is slow-jamming the news or playing beer pong with Betty White? No...
Things I Wish Were Socially Acceptable
Signing work emails with “I love you”; this would add like a whole new weird component to my professional life, just sayin
Oh shit. Oh shit.
TOTALLY see why everyone watches this sport. The World Cup is not even playing. USA goal and then Algeria got buckwyld. Plus, props to the announcer for being able to say GOAL!!!!!! as long as Mariah Carey can hold a falsetto note.
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I don't think I understand off-sides
And I am watching this game in Spanish .. but, I think that goal should have counted. Conspiracy against America, amiright?
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Scenes from Working at Home
Adam: Hey Denise
Me: HEY!!!!
Me: Man, I haven't had coffee yet.
Me: I'm over-compensating with a caps lock.
Adam: THAT'S OK CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
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“Fuck a Evite.”
– That’s how I began my gmail invitation to Sangria Friday. Updates later on how it is received. All I know is that two of my roommates spent 10 minutes telling me I should be shot. So, basically, nothing new here.
"Bin Laden hunter to be released by Pakistan" →
kindafabulous:
Gary Faulkner was “detained June 13 in the woods of northern Pakistan after being found with a pistol, a sword and night-vision equipment. The 50-year-old told officials he was out to kill [Bin Laden.]”
You gotta give him credit: that definitely took some balls.
I say let the man do his thing and let’s be on our way.
As for Bin Laden: GET HIM GARY.
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Things about today
I went to six hours of class in a row. Six. Freaking. Hours.
I wrote a letter to my best friend (who is in basic traning) and realized that I hate everyone in my classes; therefore, it is necessary that I sit alone in a corner of the room or something
I ate a small salad in six minutes for lunch and, in the process of scarfing this down, I scared the shit out of some man who was sitting nearby....
The endings of some works are just the worst. Take Pretty Woman, for instance, aka my favorite movie of all time. 99.99% of that movie is downright brilliant, and most times I forget about my unabashed hatred of the last line. Most times. This is actually a thrilling experience for those watching me watch this movie (on VHS, no less), because it’s like the first time every time - “She...
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“Is there food there?”
– This was Jae’s response to the proposition of a threesome
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Sometimes
the best thing you can do for yourself is just unfollow that bitch who always has inspirational quotes and “I love you / you’re all I ever wanted” quotes in Hevetica overlaying a picture of some sort. Because some days you’re just like, fuck it, dude, that shit is for the birds.
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Watch1) Dibs. And with that I’d like to say that I called this like the day after he announced his divorce from Tameka Foster. It’s pretty much been “Relationship Goal of 2010, Usher or Bust” for a while, you can search the archives.
2) I hate this song, ps.
3) But the way Usher dances makes me truly forget that part.
4) I get it, you guys. I’m not a black woman in my...
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Today, I played soccer for the the first time ever, and I’m proud. I was invited because I expressed utter ignorance about the sport, as it is one I was not brought up around. I would assume that if 90% of the world is so faithfully dedicated to this that I must be missing something, and so rather than get a pen and paper out to explain it to me, I was told, “You just have to...
“I think everyone should wear spandex. There would be less surpises.”
– Emily
“I would get damn tired of people cockin guns at me.”
– Me, on why I can’t be Eli in The Book of Eli
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Your (not so) Daily Roommate and Denise
Dom: MY understanding of marriage is that marriage is a union. Marriage is two halves coming together to make a whole, and then you are a singular unit ...
Me: GAY!!
Dom: [Promptly puts her middle fingers in the air]
Some days it's really fucking hilarious that one...
“I just saw an ad for if you buy 6 gallons of milk, you get the 7th free. Like .....”
– There’s some physical anthro knowledge for you, hidden amidst angst 