July 2010
62 posts
“Miley Cyrus is so fly.”
– Domonique Johnson, emphatically
The billionth digit of pi is 9.
ohyeahfacts:
(The Book of Useless Information)
If it concerns pi, it concerns me.
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Today in Inter-Roommate Emails
Augie: [Email regarding transferring money to his account for rent]
Me: Donesky
Augie: I'll donesky you.
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Turns out that the way to get back in my good graces after “things being really crazy” and thus neglecting me prior to your out-of-country trip* is to call me from said country.
Well played, Sir. Well played.
*okay, for a funeral, but still
I’m still miffed that last night someone told me that I couldn’t dislike people I don’t know. As in, upon stating that I really don’t care for this particular dude, she got wicked defensive about how well I know him and how I can’t just have disdain for people I don’t even know cuz “that’s [her] boy”. Now, granted, I understand that in the...
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Your (Not So) Daily Roommate and Denise
Me: The bunny rabbit flying tiger thing.
Dom: Lemur.
Me: Yup.
Delusional At Work Post
It would be wicked nice if people who came in here weren’t just looking to get a couple days of free membership. It really wastes my time to go through it all if you don’t have a single desire to join. It’s like making a waiter go through a detailed description of the specials when you know you’re getting a cheeseburger anyway.
A few things about today
You’d be wicked disgusted with hat album I downloaded the other day “just because”. It was mostly because I had seen pictures of these particular girls a few times and was like damn, I guess they’re musicians? Let’s see what that’s all about. And since I go hard or go home, I just copped the album. It’s a group called Girlicious .. That’s all...
I am not even sort of playing that the next person who touches me is going to get laid. I’m not even saying that this touch has to be in a certain place - I’m almost sure that the next handhake will result in me shoving everything on the nearest flat surface aside, all movie-esque in nature, and have my way. My roommate and I were sitting on the couch earlier and she was sprawled out,...
I may or may not have just attempted to flood my...
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“Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.”
– Euripides (via 5oh7, reluctantbuddha) (via hellahotmess)
“Stop giving advice to women in turmoil-ridden situations.”
– This is what I just said to Dom, who always likes to tell people om tv that they should “Get out the car, bitch!!” or what they’re doing wrong, in general, when they are scared.
I couldn’t go to sleep until 3 this morning. I just got up at 2:30 and am lethargic. Point to be taken: I’m exhausted as hell. Twelve-hour work days, two term papers on things I don’t fucking understand, the housing drama that is intensely pervading my life .. I am fucking tired. I need a daily vitamin cocktail, I need some addy, I need a Starbucks gift card with unlimited funds....
Girl's Gone Child: Eat Well: WWW says, "Eat your... →
Late night sexting with my ex
Me: If I found myself to be on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, would you be on my phone a friend list?
My Ex: I guarantee u thats a bad idea.
Me: I'm using this as an arbitrary gauge of our friendship. You haven't answered a phone call since '04.
~*Letters 2 Lindsay*~
unicornzzzzz:
sade:
Lindsay Lohan #2409752 Century Regional Detention Facility 11705 S. Alameda Street Lynwood, CA 90262
I have received more note/present combos at my door than anyone I know, all as a form of apology. I was going through my old journals one time about a year or so ago and I read an entry about how one time when I was in high school I came home and there was a bouquet of flowers on my doorstep accompanied by a vanilla cake with white frosting on it that, in teal gel letter, simply stated,...
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Pressing Question
Is Equal Exchange coffee the off brand of Fair Trade?
Things I miss about working in the city,...
Eating lunch somewhere and simultaneously husband/wife prospecting. For instance, I just saw a man at Souper Salad (get it?????) on Berkeley St. whom I’m pretty sure would be perfect for me in the eternal commitment sense. I can feel these things.
The commute into Boston SUCKS, you guys. It really, really sucks. But I felt great during it, and I always felt wicked important and I had mad...
The phrases “it’s complicated” and “I’m trying” are two phrases that irk me to no end. Find me saying either of those and, my hand to god, you can shoot me on spot. People say the former in an effort to expand a situation’s greatness, and most of the time to avoid having to orate about it. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve pressed...
I often find myself wishing I had had more discretion with whom I let see my heart. Most times, though, this has to do with lovers, rather than the friends I am now wishing I hadn’t bet so much on. A note to myself for future reference: never dismiss, never assume, never think that something will “just be okay”. Make things right sooner rather than later because sometimes later...
a chat
my stepfather: i talked to your mom tonight
me: oh. how's she doing?
my stepfather: good. today she walked 8 miles.
me: oh, like eminem?
my stepfather: do we have any of those? (looking in pantry)
me: ...
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“Every woman has been where I am today. Raw, emotional and in full hair and...”
– Kathy Griffin, on her break up with Levi Johnston
source
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Where being nice goes terribly wrong
Me: Hey, you want a Fig Newton?
Kayla: Are they vegan?
Me: Vegan? Are they fuckin ... I don't fuckin know. Who the fuck cares of they're ... Fuck a vegan Fig Newton. Yo, I rescend my offer. No Fig Newtons for you.
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Here's how I'm gonna end up in jail
There’s a seventeen year old in my class and I’ve decided to not only make him my best friend, but to parade him around in such a way that certain people might think that we are together. I also shamelessly flirt with him such that I’m pretty sure he’ll go home and tell people about the cougar who wanted to get on him, which makes me laugh. In the end, that’s pretty...
I’m being real, real mature about being upset with my friends right now by shutting off my cell phone (which was about to die anyway) and going rogue (invisible) on gchat. The thing is, I’m exhausted and therefore my emotional-ness level is probably at a 9 when it would normally be at a 3 or 4 and I can’t even try to deal with that at the moment. I’m just trying to make it...
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Apparently an 8 PM reservation time at Union Square Oyster House means I need to heck in there at 8, then they can seat me and my party whenever the fuck they want. Apparently I will motherfucking kill a bitch if I don’t get food in the next 20 minutes. Fuck you, Union Square Oyster House, I’m gonna Yelp! the fuck out of this.
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We're both older than 8, by the way
Me: You won and they lost annnnnnnnnnnnd ........
Sister E: Nahnuh-nahnuh-boo-boo
I just did a fairly decent job of reading roughly 80 pages of a book this evening, skipping parts I don’t need and ardently taking notes on those that I do. I’m impressed with myself because as the hours have pressed on, I have become more and more anxious about the height of my stress levels, and this feels like something of a pulse telling me that I can do it. A brand new job, 3...
A typical conversation between my sister and...
Sister E: Sooo, my legs hurt a lot
Me: Probably because you've been running through my mind all day.
Regarding Lindsay Lohan
You guys are bitches. Why are you so thrilled with her sadness and her crying in court? Not to be all righteous, but it speaks volumes, and it must seriously suck to be you that you’re cool demeaning a chick who’s about to have to do another bid.
Whatever, I’m in a really “treat others the way you would want to be treated” type of way in the past, like, three years.
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“Hate you anywayyyyyyyyys.”
– My reply to my sister, who didn’t answer my phone call then IM’d me to explain why. What she doesn’t know is that I’m super popular with lots and lots of friends so I don’t need her ANYWAYS.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-7-4) →
Usher (13)
Girls Aloud (2)
Lionel Richie & The Commodores (1)
Young Buck (1)
Sade (1)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
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Mark this down as I'm frustrated the fuck out of...
I sent in my final time sheet for my part-time job, which I just recently quit. It is a Google Docs spreadsheet that has columns for the date, my starting time, ending time, and total hours for the day, then a final tally at the end. Pretty straight-forward, right? I have, like clockwork, sent this form in on the 15th and 30th/31st of every month for the past six months, to the accountant, who is...
