Since apparently we're just fucking taking polls...
Who else just spent $125 at an Athena party while showing their prowess at drinking wine and taking jello shots? Who else subsequently sent pictures of suggestive products to their boyfriend and suggestively texted/called their boyfriend - drunkenly - and then finally fucking realized it’s the birthday weekend of his recently-within-the-past-year-deceased younger sister? No one? No? ...
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-10-23) →
The Throne (7) DJ Khaled (6) LCD Soundsystem (5) Foster the People (3) Dirty Money (1) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Clever people know it’s alright to laugh at taboo subjects.– Ricky Gervais (via rickygervais) “alright” isn’t all right, which is why this makes me laugh. I still agree, however. (via whydoihaveablog)
Indian girls hold up their name change certificates during a ceremony in Satara,...– PhotoBlog - 285 girls make fresh start in India by changing their names from ‘Unwanted’ (via npr)
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-10-16) →
Britney Spears (2) Jamie Foxx (2) Usher (1) Ashanti (1) Webbie (1) Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Cockroaches can live up to two weeks without a head because their brain is...– This makes me want to fucking DIE
Oh damn, this hummus is DOPE.– Things I said in front of the execs and higher ups during our Middle Eastern lunch today. The reply: “Well you don’t hear that too often, huh?” In other words, kill me.
Just sitting in bed watching Justin Bieber videos on YouTube because I really have nothing good going for my life anymore, so why not?
How are you going to have twins if you can’t handle this??– My fake roommate to me while performing minor surgery on (aka taking a splinter out of) my finger while I wailed uncontrollably
I don’t even care if any of those other hoes come, girl. I will come to...– My reply to an invitation to a “slumber party”. I keeps it classy.
So we’re clear, I will never be attending something called Diva’s Night Out. Apostrophe misplacement aside*, I can only imagine that probably no one there will have similar interests or hobbies to mine. That’s just a conjecture. * I’ll concede that there is an argument for how that is a correct placement, but I will say that it was probably by accident and they truly mean...
“Good morning, E,” I said to my boss, strolling in seven minutes late to work per usual. “You look sick,” he replied, matter-of-factly. “Are you even kidding me? You just said that? To a woman, of all people? No really, did you just say that?!? I can’t even believe you right now. We’re done.” Have I mentioned that I treat everyone in the world...
Vegan Day 1 - Success
Some bullet points: I understand why vegans are so skinny, and it’s because food preparation is so fucking goddamn long. I have vegetables and vegetables and parsley and more vegetables. And I chop and slice and shred and steam and lord have mercy, I spent most of today cooking. I ended the day with curly fries, naturally. This was partially that I’m emotionally eating and partially...
Sort of wish I’d actually watched this while I was home alone and doing nothing last night.