The selection of a Republican candidate for the presidency of this globalized...– Fidel Castro, who was the subject of several barbs during a GOP debate in Florida. (via officialssay) Crucial
Vanessa Bryant is bout to get paid →
I wonder if I’m not gonna be crazy anymore once my boyfriend gets back and I finally get laid. And if that’s the case - should I be going to Sex Addicts Anonymous? Because that’s one too many Anonymouses to be going to. Fuck.
Conversation in a dream I just had
Me, trying to figure out what to order: What would your grandma get?
Friend: Ummm, I'm not really sure.
Me: Well, what would Britney Spears get?
My Sister: Guess what I have for you???
Me: Misplaced question marks
And I’m sure you’re not fucking up anything too much unless...– The way that I “reassure” people isn’t probably on par with what maybe like how Oprah would do it. But it works. I think.
The point of the thesis proposal is like…I mean, you’re trying to show them that...– I have no idea why Denise thought that I would be an appropriate person to turn to for thesis help. (via ramou)
slightlyshy: Can we all give Courtney Stodden a break for a minute? She’s fucking 16. Sherlock Holmes was my boyfriend when I was 16. From the books. From the books.
I don’t like [Redacted], Denise. Just based on the way you talk about him,...– I’m doing a decently fantastic job of getting my roommate to say nasty things about people, and at this point I don’t even care if it’s about people that are in my life
You seriously need to figure out how to Put. Work. Away. during the hours in which you are actively not at work. While this is not something that will come easily - nor is it something you are naturally programmed to do - it is not okay that you are checking your emails or “putting out fires” at random times throughout the day. It is not okay that you are emailing or texting your...
Five off-beat ways to get a date in Boston: Face... →
I’m just Googling the shit out of life over here today [rather than researching topics for my thesis, shhhh], and kind of looking for things to do in Boston to keep me sane outside my million-hour-work-week schedule, and I came upon this. Really, I’m only reblogging for my Boston-based homies because be it my roommates or my friends, I always hear the same complaint: There’s...
Conversations of an Awesome Relationship, Part 3
Me [on the phone, because we're 3,000 miles apart for 6 weeks]: Hey, I'm actually on the train [and am not an annoying bitch], so let me call you back in like 20 minutes when I'm walking home.
J: Okay baby.
Me: Not that that's a good idea or anything.
J: Why is that?
Me: Because that's how people get mugged, dummy. If you're talking on your phone and it's late and you're walking outside, then you get mugged.
J: Okay, well --
Me: I wish someone would mug me, by the way. I would fucking rip their eyeball out.
J: Ohhhhhkay ...
Me: You thought only Uma Thurman could do that shit. No way. I have a lot of rage. I'm a gangsta. I'm gangsta to the core. You have the toughest gangsta bitch ever for a girlfriend.
J: All right. We're done here. I'll talk to you soon. Have a safe trip.
Me: I'm throwing up gang signs right now.
Conversations of an Awesome Relationship, Part 2
Me: Watching a Justin Bieber special. He's a decent rapper. This is important info that you could pass along to others.
J: Word, really? You make it so hard to love you sometimes.