Ohmygod shit isn’t that bad. You aren’t in Syria. Shut the fuck up.– Tweets I didn’t send out today because that’s passive aggressive. So I’m posting it on Tumble. Wack ass timeline …. smh
Just sitting here working on my Mixtape Madness for Jodilyn and also fucking around and making ridiculous “networking cards” for people on VistaPrint that have awful pictures of them dead center. Shut up, Khloé and Lamar is on.
Wait, now I’m dying again because look at the cage that giraffe is living in!! I can’t see the whole thing, but I can only imagine. There is definitely not enough room for that thing to gallop around or have fun playtime adventures! This is tyranny! Free the giraffes!!
I don’t have a ton of hobbies or interests or THINGS outside of work and running/yoga/restarting boxing and my personal relationships and thinking about doing laundry, but I’m definitely going to watch the season premier of Khloé and Lamar tonight. Like, I’ll do anything to make sure I’m available for that shit because I have priorities.
Someone called me for relationship advice at...
Friend: It's just... I don't get it, ya know? It's like--
Me: Does he make you happy on purpose?
Me: Does he make you happy on purpose? Like, when you talk about how great he is you're telling me he's good looking and has a secure job. Does he go out of his way to intentionally make your life better? Does he enjoy your joy?
Friend: ...I don't know?
Me: There's your problem.
Friend: I don't think that's fair.
Me: Sorry, but the people who love you on this planet are the ones who want to see you live your best life. Who take time out of dealing with their own shit to clear away some of your shit. And vice versa. That is love. If he doesn't make you happy on purpose then it's just abs.
Keep your pimp hand strong.– Best advice I’ve received ever EVER. This is from a friend in regards to the fact that I sometimes have to remind my roommate that my boyfriend is MY boyfriend, and not the house’s boyfriend. No, he will not install you air conditioner. No, he will not give you a back massage. No, you...
“Thug Mansion” - 2Pac
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.– Dalai Lama (via saraliz)
Probably “Say My Name” is the only...
Basically this teenager in Missouri is psychotic... →
And ohmygod, I get weirded out when I read about Missouri now that I don’t live there. It’s a bizarre out-of-body thing where I quasi-disassociate with it but have feelings about it all the same? And why are you crazy, person who did this? Not even judging, just wondering.
Me: Hey sexy, whatchu wearin?
J: Peanut butter. You?
Me: Baby, ima smother you in jelly and we can sandwich all. night. long.
J: Ew, you're hella gross.
I’m so mean I make medicine sick.– Muhammad Ali