Me [on the phone, because we're 3,000 miles apart for 6 weeks]:
Hey, I'm actually on the train [and am not an annoying bitch], so let me call you back in like 20 minutes when I'm walking home.
J:
Okay baby.
Me:
Not that that's a good idea or anything.
J:
Why is that?
Me:
Because that's how people get mugged, dummy. If you're talking on your phone and it's late and you're walking outside, then you get mugged.
J:
Okay, well --
Me:
I wish someone would mug me, by the way. I would fucking rip their eyeball out.
J:
Ohhhhhkay ...
Me:
You thought only Uma Thurman could do that shit. No way. I have a lot of rage. I'm a gangsta. I'm gangsta to the core. You have the toughest gangsta bitch ever for a girlfriend.
J:
All right. We're done here. I'll talk to you soon. Have a safe trip.
notbuying said:
i once actually got my phone stolen off my face while i was talking to someone and walking. it was a kid,on a bike, or i would have done the eye thing. instead i threw my umbrella at him and some dumb bitch said “why dont you call the cops” lol
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