Dear Self

You seriously need to figure out how to Put. Work. Away. during the hours in which you are actively not at work. While this is not something that will come easily - nor is it something you are naturally programmed to do - it is not okay that you are checking your emails or “putting out fires” at random times throughout the day. It is not okay that you are emailing or texting your managers or sales directors to ask about random shit at all hours of the day during all days of the week, not because they say it’s not okay [they, in fact, seem to relish in the idea that you’re always working], but because it’s compulsive. YOU are compulsive. And having a job whose financial gain is completely dependent on how many deals you write, and is directly correlated to how many hours you work, is not helpful. It is not sane.

Do you hear that? It. Is. Not. Sane.

And yet you’re working and living and breathing and dreaming about this corporate, crazy world where no one will tell you that. There will never once be someone who says to you, “Relax. Slow down. Work less. Take a vacation. Do you.” Because Corporate America doesn’t work that way. Your company does not work that way.

You knew what you were doing when you took on this job. It was a completely different path than the one that you always viewed for your life, and that’s okay. You can quit beating yourself up about it now. You can also quit feeling guilty that at many points, you really, really like it. It’s okay to crave success and power and financial independence, so long as it’s coupled with giving back, being a good friend, and never compromising your belief systems for those aforementioned gains. But keep that balance in mind, for goodness’ sake. Remember those tips from The Biggest Loser, which tell you that you have to have to take time out for yourself and your health. Remember to give back in some at least one day per week (and those weekly donations do not count, buddy, so quit playing). Remember to find adventure and thrills outside of negotiating or closing a big deal, and remember to celebrate your successes, rather than focusing only on how you’re going to tackle the next problem. And remember to remember where you came from and who you were, and all the positive change that has come about since then. Remember to remember you, and do not ever let this world take that from you.

xx,
Denise